Does your unconscious mind make the decisions for you?

I have developed the concept of the “back brain filing cabinet” with my clients, mostly because it is a concept that I can understand and therefore find it easier to explain! It is not however something as a concept that I can take any credit for but rather it is a concise method to explain and deal with principles that have long existed in neurology, psychology and psychiatry, etc.

In a nutshell: every single experience we have in life is recorded and filed away in our filing cabinet. We don’t need to consciously remember every single one because the file exists and can be pulled out at any time by our unconscious processes. Each experience in each file is flagged with a response reminder such as “causes stress”; “causes emotional upset”; “causes fear” and so on. The positive experiences are of course also flagged but we are less concerned with their potential influence. The flags that are given will also vary through life as we develop different understandings of experiences. So, the flag that might be given to an experience when we are 4 years old might be very different to that flag given to the same experience had it occurred when we were 15 years old. Likewise, existing files can then influence the interpretation of experiences going forward and be the reason why 2 people in the same situation can have entirely different experiences of it.

How might this affect our adult decisions and choices?

For example: Child A is born with minor complications but requires immediate incubation following birth without even being held by mum. Afterwards, due to necessity A spends much early childhood between grandparents and parents. At age 3, just as Child A is getting used to more parental time, they acquire a sibling, Child B. Circumstances have changed and mum is now at home more to look after A and baby B while dad continues to work.

“So what”, you might say. That is the basic story for thousands of people and, of course, you’d be absolutely right but let’s break down the possible experiences filed for A:

• Newborn baby’s interpretation of birth events – no parent to care and protect them. Isolated and alone. Fear.
• Early childhood between family carers – there is no-one specific to keep A safe. Isolation, fear and abandonment.
• Just beginning to learn care and nurture from principal parent then new sibling arrives. Rejection/abandonment. Fear.

Remembering this is the interpretation of the baby/toddler who at that stage of development has no concept of time and everything occurs in the now. Files flagged with “causes fear and lacks safety” have already grown to fill a whole cabinet before A has reached 4.

A’s adult understanding understands perfectly well that the reality of the situation was they required urgent medical care at birth and as such A’s mum did everything in her power to keep A safe and cared for in that situation. Likewise, financial constraints required mum to go back to work quickly and A was surrounded by loving grandparents when not with parents – a far cry from having been abandoned. Mum was around as principal carer as soon as circumstances allowed and of course A understands that new baby B required care and attention. So where is the problem?

The problem is that those files have existed since birth and record those experiences and interpretations of them as they happened. They cannot simply be replaced by the adult understanding, as such. As you will probably guess from the flags on A’s early files, A is seeking to understand their behaviour in the context of adult fears and limitations.

 A’s file flags have created a protection from fear and rejection and which for A, as an adult, has developed into control driven perfectionism, an aversion to risk, a poor relationship with B, a strained relationship with mum and dad and ultimately an addiction to stress. All of which have accumulated unchecked over time resulting in chronic illness, anger issues, depression and anxiety. In other words, the files say A needs to be safe and the false learning that A survives best alone have influenced A’s choices and decisions throughout adult life.

The good news is those file flags can be updated! It takes work, brutal self-honesty and a genuine desire to commit to relearning – but it can be done. Within kinesiology, we have numerous methods to aid and enhance this process.

Now have an honest look at some of your own behaviour patterns and the potential needs they serve and then pose the question: “what’s in your drawers?”!